Partnership – a soul dance of love
I like to think of partnership as a dance of energy. My feminine/masculine energy meets my partner's masculine/feminine energy. Together we try to connect in the dance of these energies. Just like a yin-yang sign in constant, flowing movement.
Sometimes the dance is harmonious, we feel connected, maybe even one, we understand each other, we enrich each other. And then there are times when we fall apart. The common vibration, the dance, just doesn't want to work. Times in which we are traveling in different rhythms. A bit like freestyle jazz, where you don't know anymore whether you like it and want to love it, or whether it's so annoying that you want to switch it off.
In my opinion, relationships and partnerships are always one of the true master's tests that we, as souls, are allowed to take here on earth. When I puzzle out all by myself, consciousness, enlightenment, awakening sometimes seems so simple.
Oh, how many things have already been understood and allegedly internalized. But in the encounter with the other, it quickly becomes apparent where we ourselves are still shaky. Where you still sleep, where you still have your pain points. Where you extend your claws and get annoyed. When our partner manages to get us out of our midst and out of our “enlightened being”, it is always an invitation to look within ourselves to see what else can be recognized here.
The soul longs to surrender to life. To open oneself up to the dance of polarities, to experience oneself in all its qualities, in all its rhythms, in all its facets. In order to dance a dance with others, to experience oneself in partnership dance (with the family: father, mother, siblings, with friends, and yes also with romantic relationships). But instead of having a dance or a meeting of soul energies at eye level, we regularly manage to wear each other down through: power games, blame games, manipulations, etc.
I invite you today to stop despairing and start a new dance in your relationships. A dance at eye level, equality, freedom and above all love, towards yourself and the soul of the other. And how can we do that? Here are a few small suggestions for the new dance:
Know your strengths
It should actually be quite easy, knowing our strengths. But unfortunately it is the case that we spend half our life, if not our whole life, in search of our strengths. We know or have rarely internalized our strengths. Yes, there is certainly a lot to be found in our childhood and also in the way in which strengths are dealt with in our society.
Stack love a little lower, just don't be a show-off, just don't stand out from the crowd. Because those who stand out are the ones who are quick to blame when something doesn't go right. So let's hold back. There are many more reasons, but now it's about finally taking the time to recognize what our strengths really are.
In a relationship it is important to know each other's strengths. Let's go back to my example of dancing together. In the areas where our strengths lie, we can also take the lead in dance and the other can let himself go, can let himself be led. We don't have to be able to do everything, we don't have to be perfect.
We are allowed to be inspired by the strengths of our partner and yes, we are also happy to do an apprenticeship, but we are also allowed to hand over. And no, that doesn't make us immediately dependent or dependent. You know, in business it's very clear: you work best where your own skills lie. Where you feel strong and safe. And what you are not good at, you give it to others who can do it better.
That's called teamwork. If you think you have to do everything on your own, you will burn out sooner or later. Oddly enough, however, the belief that being self-determined and independent in a relationship means being able to do everything is wrong. This destroys us and even worse, we prevent the common flowing dance of opposites and similarities with our partner.
I was able to learn a lot from my partners and myself, let's say, acquire basic knowledge in areas that I had absolutely no plan for before. Nevertheless, this is not where my strengths lie. In these areas I like to give up the lead and let myself be led. Because I know my strengths, I know in which areas I can take the lead.
It tends to be problematic when both have the same strengths or areas in which they have the same strengths. Here it is also important to learn a dance of give and take, sometimes one leads, sometimes the other leads and, what you can also do: everyone can also dance for themselves within a relationship, swing for themselves. Or what I personally love: pull together. Common strengths can multiply and take us incredibly far, because we can sail in the same wind and then really pick up speed.
We are allowed to learn more and more to recognize that relationships do not mean power struggles, not "who is the better here" or "who does more for the relationship or the family". I say yes: relationship is a master task, again and again.
know your weaknesses
The amazing thing is that we often beat ourselves up in areas where we actually have our strengths. But we are very often operationally blind when it comes to our weaknesses. As long as we are alone, we usually get on well with our weaknesses. We bypass them, we have great excuses as to why it is the way it is.
Living alone is quite easy with one's own weaknesses. But in a relationship, our weaknesses are often the crux of the entire relationship system. Incidentally, this is also the point that really annoys us: revealing our weaknesses from our partner. Who likes to have their weak points hit around the ears? But that's exactly what we do when the dance together gets out of step and we get into a fight or fight.
What is actually a gift in a relationship: that you accept the other, with all their strengths and all their weaknesses, turns: and the weak points are held up to you. If we haven't accepted ourselves with our weaknesses, then we join the argument here: defend ourselves, hit our partner's weak points in the face as a tit-for-tat.
To be held up to the weaknesses is annoying. We want to be great. We want the other person to think we're great. Love that he thinks of us as the greatest person ever, right? But to be honest, we would like to be loved the way we are, even or especially with our weak points. If we get hit by the weak points, we are hurt. All love is quickly called into question.
Even if it sounds profane to you now: but please, know your own weak points. Be honest with yourself without beating yourself up. Why is that so important? Because self-awareness can help you step out of the battle of weaknesses. I know that might sound strange now, but it's worth a try.
When we fall in love, we usually wear rose-tinted glasses. The partner is simply perfect and wonderful. Only over time do we notice the quirks, the weak points and it is often the weak points that really annoy us in our partner.
Maybe that he can't say no and always has to help everyone, maybe that he leaves his clothes lying around everywhere, maybe that he's afraid to tell the truth and would rather lie than stand by himself and his needs. There are so many weak points.
But if we admit that I have weak points and you have weak points, then we can start to inspire each other in dancing together and even help out sometimes. In a relationship, not everyone has to fight their way through life on their own.
We come together to walk a common path in love. Yes, everyone has their own soul path and yet we can inspire and support each other on our individual paths, share, be light. Remember the dance again: it is a flow, a give and take, a support in the weak points, an enrichment in the strengths. I know it sounds better than reality shows.
Because we're still learning We're still learning how to lead relationships at eye level again. Relationships where we stop wearing each other down and hurting each other. Relationships in which we begin to be mindful of each other's weaknesses because we are mindful of our own weaknesses.
If I realize that I'm not perfect, then I can no longer expect it from my partner. If I recognize that my partner accepts me with my weaknesses, then maybe I can also find a loving way to deal with his weaknesses. It is important to always look here: what can I take and what can I absolutely not take.
We can always learn to change in a relationship. Not to please my partner better, but to increasingly turn my weaknesses into strengths. For me I change. Not for the other. That would not go well in the long run.
When we enter into a relationship, we decide to dance a soul dance together. And it is always, really always in motion, always changing, has the potential to become great or destroy everything at any moment. Sometimes we are very close, very familiar and sometimes we are far apart and distant.
Actually, we enter into a relationship in order not to continue to be lone fighters, but to complement each other, to create something bigger out of two "It's me" than the two individual parts give. Equal relationships means recognizing that we are the same. That we each have our strengths and weaknesses and that we can learn to dance a dance of love together.
Because this is the decisive point in the end:
be love
The art of a relationship is to dance a dance of love after falling in love for the first time and after removing the rose-colored glasses. It doesn't have to be perfect right away, what does it have to be. Love is allowed to develop, sometimes it is very present and sometimes it is perhaps far in the background, but it is love that determines the relationship dance like a steady stream.
And you know what: everyone deserves that. You deserve to love yourself and be loved by your partner when you engage in a dance with their soul, their strengths and weaknesses. But it's the same the other way around: your partner also deserves to be loved by you, with their strengths and weaknesses, sometimes more, sometimes less, but love is the supporting framework on which a relationship of equals stands.
If we cannot love our partner, if we no longer feel love for the other in the quiet depths despite all the storms on the surface, despite all the phases of change that we or our partner go through, then we can question whether we want to continue the soul dance together , or whether the time has come to end it. If we can't love our partner anymore, then it's time to let them go, to set them free, so that they have a chance to experience love in a relationship, just as you give yourself a chance to love again and to be loved experience how you want to experience it.
And don't forget: every relationship has ups and downs, the violins don't always play on cloud nine. Being in love is a feeling that comes and goes, but I wouldn't base a relationship on that. Love is the power that can withstand the storm.
Love is the power that invites us to dance together, experience life together, fulfill life time together. Love does not require the surrender of your individuality or that of your partner. Love doesn't require you to contort, give up, change to better suit your partner. Love doesn't require you to let go of your dreams, to throw your gifts overboard.
Love invites you to dance. To experience yourself, to feel your rhythm, to perceive the other, to feel the other, to see what is possible together and where everyone builds and develops for themselves. Love always leaves free, free to go and free to engage.
Partnership is a master task, again and again. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, give your partner space for their strengths and be forgiving of their weaknesses. Be love in every moment: love for yourself and for your partner's soul.
I sincerely wish you a great dance with yourself and together with your partner. your jennifer
And don't forget: if you want to find more of your strengths, if you want to be independent of do-it-yourself games, manipulations and emotional chaos, I invite you to do the basic online course: the magic of the inner child. The more we can immerse ourselves in the healing inner child energy, the more freely we can love, we can use our love for ourselves and give it to the world.
I look forward to seeing you, your Jennifer
