Who do you let rob you of your dreams?
Hello dear trusting friends,
After the last two blog articles “Return of the Witches” and “Book of Shadows”, many, many women contacted me. Thank you for your loving and appreciative exchange with me.
These conversations made me aware of another point I would like to talk to you about today: it is about dreams and how often other people try to rob our dreams and succeed in doing so.
The result is often that we become frustrated with our own lives. We are not really happy and somehow feel trapped in our own reality, even though everything looks perfect and good from the outside. Inside, however, it often looks very different.
The art is under all the layers that we have built up over the years to adapt, to fit into the system, to find ourselves again. To recognize our soul plan and to follow the calling of our heart.
A nice and interesting example of this: I was on the phone with an American woman and she told me how her family really wanted her to become a lawyer. It was respected and a family tradition. So she became a lawyer - with a good income, a nice house, married children - as typical and as classic as everyone wanted. Just not from her.
She burned out and lost the desire to live. In order to do something for herself, she took an online painting course and with painting came the memory. How she has always loved art, how fulfilled she felt when creating her works, how her family always proudly spoke of her "beautiful hobby" and made it clear that this was not an accepted professional path.
And then came the brave leap: she gave up her legal job and put all her eggs in one basket – she learned and learned and is still learning. But she followed her heart and painted, painted herself freely from her golden cage and the gates opened, it only took her two years to make a name for herself in well-known galleries.
Today she lives from her art. Even though everyone, her colleagues, her family, her partner, her friends all thought she was crazy for leaving her secure, lucrative job to follow her dreams. This is a very beautiful story and very inspiring. Writing this like this makes it easy to read, doesn't it? But there is an incredible amount of courage behind it - the courage to break out - the courage to swim against the tide - the courage to stand up against your own family - the courage to bet on the completely wrong card and fail - the courage to live the old life as you do it lived before and not knowing what might come of it.
family criticism
As children, we often still have a lot of dreams. It feels like all gates are still open. Everything is still possible. And everything is kinda great. In the game we are sometimes the teacher, then the famous singer, then the princess. We flow with what we feel like doing. We wouldn't even think that we're too fat to be ballerinas. Too clumsy to be a surgeon. Too stupid to study. Too poor to travel. Too small to model. To anything, to do anything.
Very, very often - unconsciously or not - the parents take care of that. And whether we have a good relationship with our parents or not - the mechanisms run so subliminally and unconsciously - we actually always want to be "good children" and adapt to the ideal of the parents in one way or another. As children, we need parents who believe in us.
Who invite us to explore the many doors of possibility to find out where we are drawn to. But so many parents didn't get to know it themselves. They repeat the game they experienced with their parents and the classification and taking a seat in the hamster wheel is pre-programmed.
Stepping out against the will of the parents is often the most difficult process. To free yourself from what your parents have said about you - albeit in thoughtless words like "chubby", "clumsy", "what will become of you", "as long as you keep your feet...." And so on. We work forever, even as adults, to gain the approval of our parents. Hearing they're proud of us. That she loves us just the way we are. That they support us no matter what vocation we choose. The longing is sooooo great.
I have done so many family constellations and so often you can break it down to exactly this point. We long for our parents to love us just the way we are. No claims, no expectations, no requirements, no love exchange - just "you are so amazing - I love you just the way you are!"
It's so sad how rare that is lived in reality and what an immense impact it has on how we shape our lives. How far we move away from our inner soul plan and calling to find the love of our parents - yes, again mostly unconsciously.
Breaking out of this wheel is often damn difficult. To get up and say - to yourself - I'm walking my path of fulfillment now. I'm now realizing my dreams, regardless of whether I fall flat on my face or not - is perhaps sometimes the biggest hurdle we are allowed to take.
social criticism
When we start detaching ourselves from the parental home, unconsciously carrying the deep wounds of the parent-child relationship within us, the next "battle" we have to face comes: the criticism of society. Starting with a school system, which is constantly evaluating us. Everything I do in school counts toward a grade that supposedly says something about who I am and what I can become.
It's so terrible for me personally and I find this rating system so bad and completely absurd. I am currently observing with my children how stressed their friends are going to psychotherapy because they are afraid of school. Really now? Teachers who build pressure. Parents who build pressure. Reward system: "If you do well in school, then - please insert a suitable reward-!"
As I have already written, children neither get up in the morning and think: "Today I'm going to be really mean to my parents!" nor do they get up and think: "Today I'm really bad at school!".
Finding your way in the world as a child is always a challenge. In these particularly fragile times, we need encouragement, people who trust us, who show us ways, what talents we have, how we can develop and promote these talents.
But school and the constant evaluation of teachers and parents shape us. It is not easy as a child and young person to be so inwardly stable that the "social" criticism simply bounces off you. she hurts She unsettled. And it ensures, among other things, that we bury many dreams in order to fit in. To be accepted. To not feel left out. In order to belong. To get recognition etc. There are many threads that come together here.
And both together the family criticism and the societal criticism (teachers, friends, partner etc.) converge and feed the voice of our own "Inner Critic".
inner critic
And nobody judges us like our “inner critic”. Caution: the "inner critic" feeds on criticism from outside, builds up, repeats, but he is also brought along. Sometimes you can still give your children so much encouragement. Or maybe you too have received encouragement from your parents and yet the voice of your "inner critic" is loud and powerful. As a reminder: the soul stores "experiences based on feelings" - experiencing rejection, having to take criticism, feeling excluded - all of this can still affect us and our behavior from previous incarnations.
Overcoming family criticism and social criticism is art, but confronting the “inner critic” is the true “master task”.
It's not about banning him completely. It is also good to question yourself, to check, to recognize where you can develop more consciously, even wisely, even more attentively etc. But it's about not beating yourself up and your dreams anymore. No one can beat us up like we can ourselves. Ultimately, no one keeps us as far from realizing our dreams and desires as we do ourselves.
The learning process or master path is here to learn to believe in yourself. Stop looking for validation and approval from the outside world. The change to fulfill our dreams always starts from within. All the stored voices of criticism and claims from parents, teachers, partners, superiors, children, friends can be brought to rest - because then we can face our "inner critic", him his place in the system of the soul - Giving voices - giving him the task of guiding us safely, letting us see where we can still improve, where we may overestimate and harm ourselves, where we can still learn, so that we can walk our path of change mindfully and respectfully. But we don't give him space anymore to put us down, to put us down, to make us small and to keep us small.
It's up to us to figure out what dreams we want to realize. What we want to try. Where we want to expand our lives. How we want to fulfill our lifetime so that life is joyful, worth getting up in the morning for, loving yourself and appreciating what you do.
The journey to this place is often not easy. Many old memories can come up where we felt hurt. Where the words and actions of our parents, our friends and partners, our teachers have deeply affected us. But: if we continue to give these people, these anchored voices within us, the power over us and our actions, then we are ultimately just "puppets" of people (except maybe our parents and a few other exceptions) who ultimately don't care who you really are and if you are realizing your dreams. You then live their vision of you and how you should be - not yours.
But the soul is here to experience itself and not to be a mirror or image of others. On your path of soul development, the step will inevitably come at some point where you put yourself and your life to the test to see whether you are living your dreams or simply trying to conform to the ideas of others.
With basic trust and the basic trust academy, with the soul sprays and with the soul book, I fulfill some of my dreams. But looking back on my life, I see how many times I've tried to fit in to be liked, twisted in relationships to be loved. And yet it was always empty. Always in search of. I've felt lost so many times. It was only when I broke out of the game "I'm trying to be the way you would like me to be" that I found myself. To my wishes and to my dreams of a fulfilling life.
It wasn't always easy. Many tears, much pain, many injuries should be lovingly looked at and accepted. But every step towards you is worth it. Every step towards you is a fulfillment of your soul plan. Still, no matter how old you are, endless possibilities lie ahead of you. You get to choose. You can try yourself. You can experience yourself.
Use this precious time of your life and if you fulfill just one of your wishes that maybe lie dormant in you, you have brought light into your life and into those who come after you. We are all connected and it's up to us to change the game. Our dreams are our dreams. Our soul plan is ours. Nobody else knows what you feel deep down, what you want to experience. It's your way - go it and if not now, then when?
Much love and may you have a great life. May your wishes bring light into the world and enrich you inside.
your jennifer